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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

officialsamwinchester:

do u ever put on a shirt and look in the mirror and go

"no. this does not represent the full potential of my boobs"

"MY BOOBS CAN LOOK MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN THIS"

What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

tiredestprincess:

ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”

shrek one: BEST
shrek two: the funniest movie i have ever seen. literally one of the funniest comedies of all time. incredible pacing and dialogue. reference jokes that were actually funny. surreal world that was so modern fantasy it actually worked. rocking score. awesome scene set to "i need a hero" being sung by the villain unironically and completely played straight. a bar of villains. just overall the best concepts ever.
shrek three: bad
shrek four: bad
itslikethatthing:

WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTT??????

itslikethatthing:

WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTT??????

simonsprocket:

ruinedchildhood:

Drive Through

Instructions unclear

simonsprocket:

ruinedchildhood:

Drive Through

Instructions unclear